id be glad to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
