If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
