ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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