Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
