I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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