One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
