I am puke
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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