she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ladies don't puke and tell
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
