Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
