Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
