i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
