living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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