he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
