My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dicks are not precious.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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