I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
