I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
