the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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