We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
