Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
