Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
