i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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