Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
