His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
