and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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