I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
