I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
