i think my tv is drunk
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
