420 ftw
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
