Need sex. Gaining weight.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
