yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
