why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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