Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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