Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
