She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
