in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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