im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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