i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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