so let's talk penis.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
