he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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