i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
