K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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