they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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