Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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