I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize