My nipple is on Facebook.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
