too bad you live with your parents still
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
