yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize