please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
