Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
