just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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