i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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