I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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