I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize