Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
