U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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