Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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