It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
